VLOG - "You're All I Want for Christmas" - Behind the scenes with Kirby

Keep It Inside

Behind the song:
In the beginning, I tried to force this song to be something it wasn’t. I let it sit for a few weeks and then I’d pull it out again. I knew it was important, I just couldn’t see what it wanted to be or what it was trying to teach me. I’d put it away, rediscover it, put away, rediscover. This pattern went on for a year and a half. Until one day I had just finished reading The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I thought about the people in my life who give. I thought about my mom giving even when she had nothing left.  I thought about my neighbor who was giving so much.  Both of them would give and never give up.  I  listened to a David Wilcox song, "For Real." Feeling inspired I went to the guitar knowing the story I needed to tell. The song opened up its arms and let me bring it to life.

I wanted words to describe the smell of the leaves, the crisp autumn air, and the woods. In Fahrenheit 451, there is a moment when Guy Montag is hiding under leaves in a wood. Bradbury (the king of igniting my senses) describes the leaves as having a cinnamon scent. I loved the way that description captured not only the scent, but also the crisp feel of autumn.

Musically, we wanted something to be subtly present from the beginning of the song. A kind of haunting melody that would at times compliment and at others stray from the
main melody. It never defines the song, but it is present throughout.

Even when life is difficult, we can find joy in knowing that we can grow. We have faith that the bare branches in winter will be green again in the spring. Difficulties challenge us. They make us stronger. 

In the studio:
We decided that strings would be the appropriate voice of the haunting melody. The melodies we came up with were beautiful but not quite what we wanted. We looked to other songs that we had recorded together and came across the file "Alleluia" from my Christmas album, Merry White Tree in the Night. "Yeah. Something like this." I told Nathan that both songs are in the key of E so we pulled some of the string files over to "Keep It Inside" to use for reference. As we were piecing cellos here, violins there, and the full quartet in the spaces in between, we realized how well the two songs fit. We started placing entire phrases in sections. There are times when the two songs fit perfectly and others when the strings stray slightly from the melody. We had stumbled upon a magic moment that we couldn’t have otherwise duplicated. We would have written the new melody within the musical theory boundaries that typically "works" melodically in a song. Just like the lyrics, choosing the instrumentation for this song wasn’t up to us. This song knew what it wanted to be. We got out of the way and listened.

Writing this song helped me process events in my life and also opened my eyes to how I live it. I need to listen to who I really am and stop trying to force myself to be something I’m not. Life is more rewarding when we get out of our own way. 

Lyrics:
Leaves are dry and marigold beneath our feet
Above our heads a subtle blue
We lay in silence so this silence is our bed
Cinnamon and earth we breathe
We breathe
And I keep it all inside

We climb these branches bending to our weight
I find the safest way into your arms
If I’m doing well you’re pulling
more than they would know
Who could ever fell this tree?
Of you and me

I keep it all inside
No one sees the beauty in an ordinary life
The days are turning into sleepless nights
But I keep it all inside

I can walk this silence with a brave face
So no one has to feel the weight I feel
This isn’t giving up it’s knowing
when to let it go
I would never give up on you.
I forgive you

These limbs are bare now
With no signs of green
The promise of a new day
Blossoms underneath

I keep it all inside
Flowers of the mourning paint an ordinary life
The days are turning into sleepless nights
But I keep it all inside

Kirby Heyborne

Vlogging in Vegas

A short video blog about my St. George concert and more!

Confusing Christmas Songs

While we were energetically singing "Jingle Bells" this past week, both of my kids corrected my lyric of "In a one horse open sleigh" to "In a one horse SOAPEN sleigh." This made me think of all the Christmas songs that I 1. Sang (sing) incorrectly, 2. Don't understand, and 3. Skip over entirely in our Reader's Digest Merry Christmas Songbook.

Lyrics I sang incorrectly as a child:
"Round YOUNG virgin Mother and Child" (She was young)
"Up on the housetop reindeer PAWS" (That one makes sense to me still to this day. Hooves can be referred to as paws, can't they?)
"Good tidings we bring to you and your KING" ("King" rhymes with "bring" better than "kin" does)
"Take a look at the FINEN TIN glistening once again" (I don't know what that means. So I looked it up. It's "Five and ten." What is that referring to? Cross streets? A time of day?)
"Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of YOUR faithful friends who are dear to us" (What does "yore" mean? Did you know that before you looked it up?)

Lyrics I don't understand:
"We'll tell scary ghost stories" (This is from "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Is it common for people to sit around at Christmas and try to scare each other? Am I missing out on a fun holiday tradition?)
"Bells on bobtail ring" (What's a bobtail?)
"Twelve Days of Christmas" (There are birds given on days 1,2,3,4,6,7. If you write a song that has twelve different things in it and half of them are birds, why not do the whole song about birds? Did the guy not know any more bird names? I can't name 12 different birds. Do people give birds for Christmas? Is wanting a bird for Christmas common enough to write a song about it? I have some friends whose son is asking for a rat. (Apparently they are really smart and bond well with their owners. Who knew?) Then there's the most confusing part of all: "Four Colly birds" vs. "Four Calling birds." I didn't even know this was a debate until last week when we got a "Twelve Days of Christmas" book from the library. It says "Colly birds." (It means black bird. Thank you answers.com). My kids sing "Colly" now. Are they going to get beat up by the "Calling" faction? This discovery made me question years of singing an already confusing song.)

Christmas songs I have never heard nor sung yet are in the Reader's Digest Merry Christmas Songbook:
"The Merry Christmas Polka"
"Christmas in Killarney"
"Will Santy Come to Shanty Town?"
"The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" (I just read the lyrics. Chorus: "He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot, and goodness knows he didn't want a lot. He sent a note to Santa for some soldiers and a drum; It broke his little heart when he found Santa hadn't come. In the street, he envies all those lucky boys, then wanders home to last year's broken toys. I'm so sorry for that laddie; He hasn't got a daddy, the little boy that Santa Claus forgot." Really? That happy chestnut made it into this collection of songs? Are there really so few uplifting Christmas songs that this one made the cut? Was "that little boy" the editor for the songbook? Hmm...)

As a kid you never cared about getting the words right or even tried to understand what you were singing. You just loved being with family and sang the song loud and hoped that your enthusiasm for Christmas would somehow be detected by Rudolph's sonar.

So sing out this Christmas when you are a-wassailing with friends and kin (not king). It's the joy of being together that really matters.

Mistakes and Stowaways

Here's a little clip of me singing a new song - "Mistakes and Stowaways". 

Whole-Wheat Pasta, The Office, Orson Scott Card and Christmas

I had whole-wheat pasta for dinner tonight. I don’t know if I like it because it tastes good or because my brain tells me that it might be better for me than regular pasta. Come to think of it, the texture wasn't very appealing.

I'm looking forward to "The Office" tonight. It is an hour long. I was pleasantly surprised to finally find a good new sitcom this season: I watched "Help Me Help You" for the first time the other night and genuinely laughed the whole way through. I am excited to watch the next episode.

I am starting the Alvin Maker series by Orson Scott Card. I've only read a little bit, but already I am enthralled/addicted. I was on an OSC kick a while back and I read Ender's Game, Ender's Shadow, Enchantment, Sarah, and Monkey Sonatas. Every thing he writes, I fall in love with. He has such a mastery of words and story telling. I am excited to be an OSC addict again.

I love the Christmas season. Christmas shows (Rankin-Bass Rudolph, The Animated Grinch, White Christmas, and Christmas episodes of my favorite TV shows); Christmas smells (Pine, cinnamon, pumpkin spice, oranges, wrapping paper, scotch tape, new electronics just out of the box (I still remember when I opened up my first Nintendo and the robot that came with it had such an exciting new smell. (The games that you used the robot on were fun for a minute, but then it would take too long for his head to move and you would get frustrated and move on to Mario Bros., Excite Bike, Castlevania, or Ikari Warriors (I think it was up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-select-start to get extra lives or something cool like that))), and new He-Man figures (yes, I do say at the end of "Wassail and Apple Pie" that I want Skeletor)); and Christmas music (Nothing beats The Canadian Brass Christmas).

I hope you have a very merry Christmas.

Thank you for all of your support this year. I really am blessed.